overdue lists.

it's getting tense around here again, seeing as how we're a week away from our second layoff. once more, we seem to be all on each others' nerves and going a little bit bonkers. so here are some lists to remind myself (and some of those in doraland who shall remain nameless) that it's really not that deep.

we could do with less:
passive agressive behavior
know-it-alls
hypocrisy
power trips
small theatre anger
dreary weather in the summer
three show days
muttering under your breath
diva 'tude

we really love:
when people open their homes to us for parties!
the confetti canons (even though we won't admit it)
hotel maid service
getting a paycheck every week
the prospect of what's next
planning cast fun times
sundress sundays
people who can take a note
creativity onstage
easy-breezy attitudes
baby mosh pits
finishing a three-show day

people. relax.

New Year's Eve

Not gonna lie, 2008 had some way ups and some way downs. But for my money, it was the best year yet. A few things that I'm thankful for...

-becoming a working actor and sticking to my goal of not having to go back to waiting tables (or something else equally as soul/energy/morale-depleting)
-finally seeing and acknowledging difficult truths that had been staring me in the face for quite some time
-real, true, heart-bursting, toe-wiggling, unable-to-wrap-your-head-around-it love
-a family unlike any other
-confronting confrontation
-my time in the rainforest, and my impending time on an island of lost toys
-the people who show up when it's truly important
-having a select few to whom i can tell anything and everything
-my continuing faith in God, despite being in a place that doesn't make that faith easy
-sunshine, rain, snow, fog, green trees, tall buildings, and everything in between
-learning how to be okay with conflict, and then letting it go
-a future that's completely unknown -- except for the fact that it's going to be amazing

Happy New Year.
xoxo

Lists 101

So, I do this thing. I get overwhelmed by all of the good and all of the beauty in the world, and the only way I can find sometimes to express is it to make a list. I've always been a list-type person; organized to the endth degree, with things neat and tidy and in their own little compartment. I think I'm starting to let go of this little by little, specifically this year, and -- whaddaya know -- things are just as wonderful if they're a little bit messy.

This being said, I still stand by my technique of appreciating the things that make me wanna cry because they're so perfect. Maybe if I was Shelly I would write an amazing song about it, or if I was Laura I would create a perfect poem, or if I was Ryan I would be comfortable just sitting in the moment and enjoying the experience. But me -- I list.

I love...

Christmas in New York
visitors from home
making decisions that benefit me
knit one, purl two
Pinch
no plans turning into an excellent day
my MacBook
that my parents taught me how to be a good person
the prospect of going home for Christmas
James Taylor singing Auld Lang Syne
pale green walls
Pancake Morning Bestie Time
crosswords at Starbucks
texting
the NY theatre community
planning for the future
auditions
my extraordinary family
foggy, cold days all bundled up
quiet times
Luke 6:27-38
love
and love
and love...

xoxo