Closings, Planes, and Good Sounds.

So here I am, in Denver, on my second layover of the day, almost home to California.  I will have been in four states by 1 p.m. today; that may not be a personal record, but it's pretty darn close.  Cowgirls closed last night, and, I have to say, it was kind of the perfect little package of a show.  Open long enough to explore some things with some amazing actors, and closed soon enough that no one got bored or went crazy.  Mostly.  It's an experience for which I'm extremely thankful.

Anyhoo, that's why I am on this crazy Montgomery-to-Memphis-to-Denver-to-Sacramento journey; because the show closed, and I'm headed home to have some family time.  And it was on the Memphis to Denver leg that something magical happened.  I had just gotten out my MacBook and turned it on, when, at the same serendipitous moment, the flight attendant asked for my drink order.  I got a Diet Coke and he offered me the whole can.  Then, at the exact same second, my computer chimed its lovely "start-up" chord, and the flight attendant flipped open the pop-top on the Diet Coke.  And I realized that those two sounds make me feel really good.

They just sounded like good things.  You know?  Those sounds that evoke an almost physical reaction because you know they mean something wonderful is coming?  A Diet Coke can opening is one of my favorites.  (And, yes, it sounds different if it's regular Coke.  Not as snappy or fizzy.)  Some of my others:  a tinny-sounding overture on any Original Cast Recording of a musical written and recorded before 1970.  My mom and dad's "hello" when they pick up the phone.  A longboard hitting the pavement when you drop it just before a ride.  Hearing my students sing a chord that would suddenly lock into tune.  My bestie's voice saying she forgot to tell me something huge.  A '57 Chevy starting up.

So, I wanna know -- what are your sounds?  Betcha we have some of the same.

xoxo

Magic People

Editor's (AKA Yours Truly) Note:  This entry previously existed on my Tumblr account.  Bailed from Tumblr.  Didn't want to lose the entry.  Sorry if it's a repeat for some of ya'll.
Have you ever come across one of those people who seems to be magic?  And they live their lives with such passion and love and total abandon that you just get willingly sucked right into their whirlwind of joy?  And they make you feel like you can do it too, and some of their joy gets rubbed off on you, and for a while, you are invincible -- you are kinder, happier, luckier, more peaceful in who you are, find the good in more things, walk with a bounce in your step, and on and on.  And then maybe you don't see them for a while and it fades, but you know that it's there somewhere, if you can just try to find it again.
The thing is, I want to be my own magic person.  I want to be able to find that feeling, and help other people feel it, and make the world better by spreading it all around.  I feel it, right at the end of my fingertips, vibrating like it's tempting me to come and get it.  It sparks up sometimes, and I feel all my feelings and I live in them, and I sing, and I pray (which sometimes are the same thing), and it's the best feeling ever.
And I think everyone is secretly a magic person.  I think it's just a matter of realizing it, and that actually takes practice.  Practice!  Huh.
So that's one of my new goals.  Practice joy.  Cultivate love.  Be magic.
xoxo

Not as cute as that little Asian kid, but...

What do you do on a Saturday night if you find yourself alone in the apartment?

Learn to play a Jason Mraz song on the ukulele. Clearly.

Taking Stock

There will probably be a few of these posts as the year draws to a close. It's interesting -- when I was teaching, I always did my reflecting and taking stock in the summer time; for so long, my "year" was from September to June. But in this world, I roll with everyone else, and so I've been looking back on 2009 and trying to fathom how in the world all of it actually happened.

All in all, I would call 2009 pretty intense. I'm so thankful to have worked so steadily -- 8 months on Dora and 3 months in China only leaves a few weeks when I wasn't gainfully employed as a working actor, and to me, that's pretty amazing. When you come down to it, I had good jobs, whether or not they're where I see myself eventually ending up. I spent 8 months away from Ryan on Dora, but then got to travel to China with him, so you do the math on that one. I'm hoping that next year brings us a little more work together and a little less distance. I started out 2009 with a looooong case of mono, which was immediately followed by being diagnosed with plantar fasciitis and bone spurs in my heels. But after months of icing and taping and wearing orthotics, my feet are getting back into fighting shape, and I can actually dance again.

I hiked the Great Wall, did more morning show interviews than I can count, had a phone conversation with a Real Housewife, was pushed up a hill by a schoolbus, went to Disneyland in Tokyo, ate the best french toast in the world, headlined at Radio City Music Hall for 90 minutes of my life, fought for what I knew was right and won, found out I'm going to be an aunt, worked as hard as I could, and learned a whole bunch -- about myself and about the world around me.

I'm giving 2009 a big ol' thumbs-up.

xoxo

Pluses.

Yikes! So my darling friend Patty O brought to my attention that according to my blogs, it seems as though I haven't enjoyed China whatsoever. I'm so bummed with myself for only posting negative things on here! I guess this is just where I go to vent, and I don't realize that it all adds up to seem like I'm not having a good time. So here's a list of all of the amazing things that I've loved about the last couple of months.

-being in a place with such a rich, ancient history
-meeting new people and making cross-cultural relationships work, despite a lack of complete knowledge of each others' language
-our darling, sweet dressers and costumers
-Leon, my front desk buddy who has a secret Chinese crush on me
-the cool, crazy architecture with lots of shingles and peaked eaves
-how everything has a meaning and a purpose, beyond just being nice to look at
-how cheap everything is :)
-realizing, in the rehearsal process, that I'm better at my job than I give myself credit for
-having the opportunity to experience history, namely in Beijing: Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, and so on
-the fact that price is often up to interpretation -- I love haggling
-a good plate of legit Shanghai fried rice
-living in a huge downtown high rise, one block from a nice big theatre, where I work!
-the adventure of planning days and excursions to see something completely new
-experiencing a culture that is completely the opposite of everything I know, and how that has opened my eyes

Thanks, China.
xoxo

Oh, China...

So... Guess who's leaving China early? WE ARE!

I would love to divulge all the dirty details about why we're leaving, but suffice it to say that this production company has more than a few things to learn about doing business. And it would just be bad karma to put all their dirty laundry out into the world via my little ol' blog.

In any case, we're leaving in six weeks, which means that we'll be home for Christmas! And in honor of this joyous occasion, Ryan bought me the tiniest fake Christmas tree ever at a 100 yen store in Japan, complete with mini decorations.



Put the kettle on kids, we're comin' home! Happy Holidays!

xoxo

independence day.

here's what your 4th of july is like when you are a farmer's daughter.

you get to your cousins' house, and 35 of your relatives are already there, talking, eating, laughing, hugging. you make the rounds and say hello to everyone, and pick a chair to settle in. you catch up with everyone you can catch up with, and you load a plate with a giant burger, some potato salad, and some watermelon. you move around a little bit to try to chat with as many people as possible, and you listen and you laugh a lot. you watch the new babies swimming in the pool and remember the days when you and your generation were the babies. you watch the boys play horseshoes, you listen to the women talk about hot flashes, you pick at the dessert table. you talk a little louder to the older generation, and you admire someone's new haircut. you take the chairs out to the front lawn to get ready for the fireworks, and you watch the boys take a giant wheelbarrow full of them across the road to the canal bank. you look out at the fields and the orchards and the mountains and the perfect sky and you realize that you feel good in so much space. you snuggle under blankets with your family, and ooh and aah at the show, and pat your dad on the back for picking the best fireworks out at the store. you hug everyone one more time, and you hop in your car and go home.

and you look up at the huge, open night sky, and see so many stars you can't count, and you know that it's about as much as a girl could ever ask for.

overdue lists.

it's getting tense around here again, seeing as how we're a week away from our second layoff. once more, we seem to be all on each others' nerves and going a little bit bonkers. so here are some lists to remind myself (and some of those in doraland who shall remain nameless) that it's really not that deep.

we could do with less:
passive agressive behavior
know-it-alls
hypocrisy
power trips
small theatre anger
dreary weather in the summer
three show days
muttering under your breath
diva 'tude

we really love:
when people open their homes to us for parties!
the confetti canons (even though we won't admit it)
hotel maid service
getting a paycheck every week
the prospect of what's next
planning cast fun times
sundress sundays
people who can take a note
creativity onstage
easy-breezy attitudes
baby mosh pits
finishing a three-show day

people. relax.

a collection of thoughts upon waking up in kitchener, ontario.

ouch. my neck.
what city is this?
really? i'm back on tour already?
really? it's may 26th and 48 degrees outside?
my feet feel pretty good this morning!
so glad i'm on tour with this particular cast. otherwise today would be r-u-f-f.
three shows today -- take it one act at a time.
john and kate -- awwwwkward.
payday is friday!!!
gotta do some pilat's before the first show. and tape my feet. and eat some oatmeal.
where's ryan?
i kinda like the threadbare sheets in this hotel. hm.
rain. boo.
do i beat my roommate to the shower or do i lay here some more? (verdict: beat her to the shower.)
definitely a hat day.
i didn't bring enough clothes back. ryan would be so proud.
so you think you can dance will get me through this week!
lots of questions to ask at the venue today -- bugging management is not my favie.
let's go bang this out!

i know, i know.

i don't blog that often! and here's why i think that's so: i have too many thoughts in my head to sort through, and i'm self-conscious about putting information that's so close to my heart out into the world for all to see. i think maybe that's the purpose of blogging to begin with, but i'm still guarded about it. it's a very exhibitionist and passive-aggressive thing at its heart, i think. but whatever. i participate. : )

still on tour with dora, and i'm climbing the walls. our first of two one-week layoffs starts in five days, and we're all about to go over the edge. i couldn't ask for a more amazing group of people to be touring with, but LORD do we all need a break. from each other, from the show, from traveling, from living on restaurant food, from suitcases, from whatever. break time.

been thinking a lot lately, and taking stock (of what i haaaave and what i haveeeen't! for 64,000 tax-free dollars, name that show!). i'm so happy to be employed and to be a working actor -- grateful beyond words. but the deal is that children's theatre is not where i want to be. so i take this for what it is: a step in the right direction toward where i know i will eventually end up. realizing that about a job is tough stuff, and sometimes makes it a little harder to get through each day or even each show. but it is what it is and i know that there is more beyond this for me.

xoxo

here's why my boyfriend rocks.

-he is my fake secretary.
-he makes dinner every single night when we live in the same apartment. and it's good.
-he comes to New Jersey just to help me with my luggage.
-he pretends not to be bored when we walk around Ricky's looking at nail polish.
-he's not afraid of mountains, water, dragons, dark, or sky.
-he can sing real pretty.
-he keeps ME driven. ME.
-he somehow knows how to talk me off of any ledge. and there are a lot of ledges in NYC.
-he knows how to get anywhere by subway.
-he makes a great mixed drink.
-he's just that right amount of confident without being pompous.
-he's a necessity if going on an adventure of any kind.
-he doesn't look too shabby in a pair of jeans.
-he wears scarves that I make him.
-he's got symmetrical teeth.